


What Happens in Space Stays in Space

by Flomo (KonKon38)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Civil war what???, Crack, Fluff, I just... needed this to happen, M/M, Never Have I Ever, No Angst, This Is STUPID, Tony lowkey thirsts for the hulk, Written in like 5 minutes, canon divergence - I do what I want, don't know her, enjoy, for scientific purposes only, infinity war who?, never met her either, so I poorly wrote it, this is completely crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 22:12:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14680512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KonKon38/pseuds/Flomo
Summary: To get to know each other better after the Asgardians safely make it to earth, Tony calls a team gathering to play never have I ever.Things go remarkably wrong, but maybe Thor should have thought a little bit before he decided to bring Loki along.





	What Happens in Space Stays in Space

**Author's Note:**

> What is this??? I don't know. I'm so sorry. This isn't beta read so all mistakes are mine.

The original Avengers, Plus the addition of Bucky, Loki, and Valkyrie, decided it was time to catch up with a game of Never Have I Ever. Well, Tony had decided it and roped everyone into it. Some good old team bonding to forget the rough couple of years they’d gone through. So there they were sitting on the floor around a table in the tower like they had nearly two years ago. Only there was no Ultron now.

 

“Alright Brucie, Why don’t you start? You’ve been in space for two years, you must have something good.” Tony winked at him and Bruce rolled his eyes.

 

“Never have I ever gotten so drunk I ruined an important event.” Bruce chuckled as everyone but Loki and Valkyrie took a shot.

 

“That’s a low blow Brucie.” Tony fake glared.

 

“Val, I seem to recall hearing a story of you being so drunk you blacked out and fell off your spaceship in the middle of the end of the world?” Natasha smirked at the warrior.

 

“That was completely necessary I’ll have you know,” Valkyrie replied while throwing back the shot. Thor chuckled and turned to his brother.

 

“Brother, Need I remind you of—“ Thor was cut off by Loki taking a shot quickly.

 

“If you so much as ever bring that up again, I will make you suffer.” Loki snapped. Thor just clapped his hand on Loki’s shoulder.

 

“I believe it is your turn, Brother.” Thor looked at him expectantly. Everyone in the room stiffened except for Valkyrie who looked like she didn’t care.

 

“Oh yes, I have the perfect one…” Loki turned to look at Thor and Bruce who were sitting next to each other. At this Valkyrie chuckled and Bruce narrowed his eyes.

 

“Brother…” Thor said cautiously.

 

“You know, the other guy has just started liking you. I wouldn’t want to mess it up If I were you.” Bruce said. Loki ignored the threat and smiled an unnerving smile.

 

“Never have I ever slept with the Hulk,” Loki said triumphantly.

 

Everyone froze. They all looked around the table. Surely he was kidding, right? Then Thor set his jaw and took a shot. Many things happened at once. Tony’s jaw dropped, Clint suddenly looked like this was simultaneously the best and worst thing he’d ever heard, Natasha turned pale, Steve was taken aback in disbelief, Bucky looked impressed, Thor looked like he was ready for battle, Valkyrie started dying laughing, and Bruce looked like he wanted to die. Loki smirked triumphantly. 

 

“That’s impressive, pal.” Bucky was the first to speak, trying not to let his amusement slip through, Steve looked like he really wanted Bucky to shut up.

 

“Wait. Wait. Holy shit. And you didn’t have to go to the hospital?” Clint spoke next and before Thor or Bruce could reply Tony finally spoke.

 

“Am I hallucinating or did Thor just confirm he slept with The Hulk? Not just any Hulk, but our Hulk. Do you know how long I’ve tried to get the Hulk to let me see his dick, for the science of course, and you just go and fuck the Hulk? How the hell are you still standing? When did it happen? Did you film it? If so I’d like to see it, also for science—“ Tony began rambling.

 

“Tony I swear to god.” Bruce ground his teeth.

 

“He was a fantastic lover, I can assure you all. I’m disappointed with your lack of faith in me, my friends, I am a god. Of course I can handle the Hulk in bed.” Thor said proudly. Bruce smacked him in the arm while he continued to glare at Tony.

 

“This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is what you were doing in space? Does that mean you and Point Break are dating now? Are you his royal consort?” Tony continued.

 

“Yes Thor and I are together, and no I don’t think that automatically makes me his consort and you are never going to see that tape. I promise the other guy wouldn’t agree with it.” Bruce sighed.

 

“So you did make tapes!” Tony clapped his hands together.

 

“Of course, who wouldn't film such a glorious thing? We were on an orgy ship after all.” Thor put his arm around Bruce and smiled.

 

“Wait for a second, an orgy what?” Clint chimed in.

 

“Well, you see Barton, My brother, slept with a sleazy old man and gained access to his orgy ship, which we renamed the Asgardian Ark.” Thor smiled at Loki, looking ever so amused.

 

“Well, I ended up saving all of our asses so you’re welcome for the orgy ship! Without me, you all would have failed. If you don’t seem to recall, I am the glorious savior, not you!” Loki said sharply.

 

“So that’s what happens in space? A bunch of orgies?” Tony looked scarily excited by this. Before the other Revengers could answer Valkyrie chimed in.

 

“Yes, that’s exactly what happens in space. You humans are really missing out on a lot.” She winked at Natasha from across the table. Natasha who had finally snapped out of her stupor immediately grinned back.

 

“Is that so? Maybe you’ll have to show me.” She said innocently. Steve face planted onto the table. While Bucky laughed.

 

“I give up, you’re all fucking insane. How we have survived this far must be some sort of cosmic joke.” Steve muttered against the table.

 

“You’re one to talk Cap—“ Tony began.

 

and so the rest of the night ensued. With much bickering and very inappropriate questions.

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me for this trash fire.


End file.
